I just like to mention this straight up. I can’t be fucked writing today. And in saying that, this will probably end up being a nice lengthy post, but who knows. I sure don’t.

Right at this moment, I’m really peeved at Photobucket. The stupid site won’t open, and I have a pile of pics that I want to upload and because I can’t open it, I can’t get to them. And I can’t open any other image sites either from the stupid school library. God, I so can’t wait until we get the net at home. Ah well. And may I just add that I now love ImageShack.us I would make a link for it, but the IT student just can’t be bothered with it. I know I know slack, but hey. That’s me. At least you’re getting a post. A not very worthy of reading post, but a post none the less. *shrugs*

So what has happened since I last posted. I dunno, I can’t really remember. Ummm, I dunno if I mentioned this before, but I got asked to go play some pool competitions of a night time, and that all fell through, and I was extremely relieved. Believe me I was. And then it started back up again, and I didn’t have the heart to tell Kelsey that I didn’t want to play. And then it fell through again. And now it’s meant to be starting again tomorrow. I think that I’m just going to have to tell her that I don’t want to play it anymore. Because I almost dread going. I love to play and muck around, but with people that I know. As I constantly get told, I am anti-social. But I don’t really care. I’ve got all the friends that I need, and that’s enough for me at the moment. *sighs* I just wish that other people could understand that.

And then its Kelsey’s birthday in Thursday. I still haven’t gotten her anything. And I have no idea what the hell to get her at that. *more sighs* She’s having some dinner thing that I’m going to of course. I wouldn’t miss that, and I’ve already asked for the night off of work. So I’ll be there. But she and Kelly want me to go out clubbing with them on Saturday night after I finish work. And I honestly can’t be fucked! I don’t want to go out after a 9 hour shift. I really can’t. And then to add onto that, they want me to catch a bus from Mandurah to Perth, after 7 o’clock at night, to go out clubbing, and it’ll be only me, and they’ll meet me there (did that make sense?)… Um, I think not. Plus there is no point if I don’t even have any ID. So that’s my story at the moment. I don’t have any photo ID, so there isn’t much point in me going. I’m not even going to bother trying to get a proof of age card before Saturday either. And mum doesn’t want to catch the bus up at that time of night, on a Saturday, by myself either. *I love you Mum!* So they can just sod off. And I honestly know that the only reason that Kelsey wants me there is because she doesn’t want to be alone with Kelly, who we both know will leave us to fend for ourselves no matter what she promises. SO I’m just being used I think. And I hate that. I really really do.

Ginny keeps messaging me and wanting me to ring her. And that’s really really frustrating. I know what it’s about. It’s about the premiering of Harry Potter4 and how she’s bought the tickets. I didn’t want her to buy my tickets. I love her, but she needs to stop assuming what I want. And the worst bit is that I have work and I can’t get out of it. I’ve asked for too much time off already. And if I ask for next Thursday off, they’ll either cut my hours right back, or fire me. And I can’t afford either. Especially with it coming up to Chrismukkah (shut up! I’m far to addicted to the OC at the moment to argue). So I’m going to have to dis her. And I really don’t want to. I don’t think that she had many friends as it is. I don’t mean for that to sound horrible, but it’s just what I think. And I think that’s why I have put off calling her for the past few days. But I said I’d call her tonight. So I will. I just hope that I don’t hurt her feelings. I could stand that if I did.

And back to Kelly. I now know that she is just using me. I was there for her whenever she needed me. And now that she’s moved away, I haven’t heard from her in however long that has been. And to be completely truthful, I’m glad she’s moved. I no longer have to stress about what the hell she is up to. I know that sounds so horrible of me, but I would do absolutely anything for my friends. And I can now see that Kelly was just using me. The only time she really talked to me, or came to see me was when she wanted something, or to feel better about herself. And I can now see that she would actually put me down and I didn’t pick up on till a little while ago. I went through that with my father (but on a much larger scale) and I’m not going through it again. I’ll still be there if she wants help, but if she’s going to keep using me for her own selfish reason’s then I’m going to be selfish right back and tell her where to shove it. Well maybe not so outright, because as much as I would like to say I would, I know that I won’t.

I have also come to the conclusion that I am still scared of my father. I think that I am scared that he is going to hurt me all over again. And I don’t want to go through that again. I really really don’t. I haven’t spoken to him in nearly 3 years now, and I rather like it this way. I just don’t think that I could ever forgive him for hurting my sisters, and my mum. I didn't mind when it was just me... but when I found out that he used to beat my mum up and she was covered in bruises. And she went to the doctors to get the fact that it had happened in writing. So that’s just another thing that I’ve added to my bonfire of hatred towards him. And fear. The only problem is that I need to speak to him about getting some money so that I can buy a car. I’ve saved up some, but it won’t be enough for a descent car, and my mum is already putting in enough. So I need to ring him. But mum said something about my fat nanna ringing him for me. But I need to ask her to do that for me, and then she’ll want to know why I don’t want to speak to him. And that’s the hard bit. Because, after all that I’ve said above, I still don’t know why I don’t want to speak to him over the phone. So I’m fucked up whatever I choose to do. *shrugs and sighs* I just don’t know anymore.

What else. Oh, some good news… I think. I’ve taken some more of Leanne’s stuff for her to store in our shed. So she’s finally completely moved out of the apartment she was staying in. So Hoo-Raa for her! Makes it just that bit closer for her to get to the Defense Forces, and if she doesn’t (although I can almost guarantee that she will), she’ll have some stuff she can use. So babe, and I know that you’ll probably be the only one to read this, Go for You! And all that other jazz! Lol

Anyway, I really can’t be bothered writing anything else, coz I didn’t really expect to get this far. Lol.

Okay, so I haven’t updated in a while. I know that I probably should, but I just haven’t been bothered to. *shrugs*

So what’s been happening in my life??? Shite all! Its dead arse boring. And to add to that, I’m suffering from insomnia, again. I’ve had a total of about 6 hours sleep since Friday last week. And I know that that might sound like a lot, but it’s not really, especially when you have work, and TAFE. The non-sleeping bit doesn’t really faze me, but I know that I get a bit grumpy from it, and then I get in the shite at home for it. Which has to be the worst bit of it all. I can put up with being tired, but the shite from my family grinds on my nerves at the best of times. The most frustrating bit is that all the outsiders to those who live in the house, only get to see the “happy us”. And then they seem to think we are one of those perfect families. And to look at us, we don’t look like we suffer, or have money problems or anything like that. Well, at the moment we’re not going to bad. Not since we moved to Mandurah, and away from my father in Margaret River. But when we were down there, we had it bad. Like really bad. None of my friends would ever understand it. We used to have to go to our neighbour's dairy to get milk, and then we would take out weevils from our flour so we could make bread for something to eat. And that was if we ate at all. And my fucken father didn’t give a shite about us.

I honestly don’t know how I got to that from talking about my insomnia. I think I might be starting to go a bit loopy! *shrugs* Oh well, what can ya do?

I would also like to add the fact that I am such a bitch! It was my pen-pals birthday last week, the 7th to be exact, and I had written the date down as it was on the 11th! So not only is her letter going to be late, and her present, but she hasn’t sms’d me in like a week, and normally we message each other all the time. Its kind of nerve wracking. I’ll just have to wait and see if she replies. God I hope so…

And I did end up buying the O.C. box sets of the DVD’s. I just had to have them, and now I almost wish I hadn’t, because I really really really want to watch season 3 and Australia doesn’t get it till next year sometime, probably around February or March. ARGHHHH! I’m going to start pulling my hair out soon.

This week has been a very weird week. I mean nothing out of the normal is happening for me. But at the same time, it just doesn’t feel “normal”! On Monday, I get home to find a letter from my pen-pal waiting for me. I love getting letters. It’s great! And it was big. So I open it to find my 8 page letter (about normal for our letters) and my birthday pressie, which I really wasn’t expecting, so that absolutely made my day! She had given me Anna and the King! I love that movie. It’s not normally the style that I watch either, so that’s even funnier. And poor old Josie was stressing so bad that I already had it. Lol. I didn’t, just for clarification. SO that was my Monday night.

Tuesday was Melbourne Cup day. And is ‘apparently’ the “Race that Stops the Nation” in Australia. What an utter load of shite. I had work for one, and when the race was on was the busiest it was all day. And I had done something I’d never done before, I had put money in a “sweep(?)”. Okay so it was only $5, but hey, I still put money in knowing full well that I was going to lose, which I did. :oP But that’s beside the point. But it was lovely and quiet that day. We had finished all the cleaning that needed to be done by, like, 10am. Ray had even cleaned the drains, which we normally only do under extreme sufferance, out of boredom. So we spent the rest of the day serving the very few customers, and being absolute idiots. So that was fun as always. The only problem that day was the fact that I had to get up early for work as I got landed with the 8am-5pm shift. But I really do like that shift.
So when work finished, my mother dearest came and picked me up and drove me home. Anyway, I got changed and went out to feed my horse, Will, at my grandma’s. Thankfully we didn’t have to stay out there too long, as I had, no, not had to, went to Rockingham to GIVE Leanne $50 so she could get by for the week. I would have given her more too, but I don’t think she likes the idea that she feels she owes me. But she doesn’t ever have to pay me back. If it’s going to help her, then in my opinion, its money well used. And coz she is going to the Air-Force(???) and moving in with her mum soon, I’m also going to take whatever she can’t sell, and put it into storage for her till she wants it or whatever. I honestly don’t mind, and the best bit is that my mum doesn’t either. Thank-god, because I was going to put it all in our shed anyway. So I left Leanne’s, and mum drove home, I wasn’t allowed. I wasn’t too phased but, because she let me put down her times into my log book for my hours so I can get my driving license sooner. Hoo Raa! So I get home, and watch TV and go to bed.

Yesterday, Wednesday, I had TAFE for the first half of the day and also had a massive head-ache, but that didn’t stop me from listen to my music as full level through my head-phones. I really hate that place and would be happy never to go back. And yes I know I’m always complaining about TAFE at the moment. And I will continue to do so until it finishes. I left that earlier and went across the school library. At least there I could do shite all and not have the teacher breathing down my neck for not doing the right thing. There I could pretend like I was doing stuff for an assignment or something. I dunno. I tend to make that up on the spot, or I was researching for a family member. I dunno. I tend to think quicker on the spot. But I only lie to those librarians, teachers, and my mum (only sometimes). Other than that, I’m pretty much an open book and would tell most people things, they only have to ask the right question to get the right answers.
SO after TAFE, I went home and had to copy all of these stupid pictures out of a book for my Aunty. I then had to darken the lines from no existent to black or as dark as I could get them. 24 pictures in total. It was so mind-numbingly boring. But I got to have my music up as loud as I pleased, so that made it alright. I got off it the computer but when my little sister had to go up to Perth for training but. I was very sick or it by then (the computer, not my sister). So instead I went and hid in my room with my head-ache and loud music. I have this stupid thing where I can’t listen to music quietly and that really annoys most people. But my family got over it. In fact they bought me a stereo system for my b’day (it’s broken and boxed away and needs to be returned at the moment), that has this button that makes it eight times louder than when its not on. So they’re only encouraging the fact now. Anyway, I went to my room, and started to draw. That’s something that I haven’t done in ages. In the end I ended up drawing a picture of Bobby Jon from survivor. But his mouth looks munted. And so does his hands. They are the two things that I can’t draw no matter how hard I try. I had also started on a pic of someone holding a guitar, but I didn’t get very far coz I had to cook tea, of which none of it I ate.
I dunno why, but at the moment, just the thought of food makes my stomach turn for the worst. So I haven’t eaten anything since Sunday night. Not even my beloved tiny teddies can make me eat anything. My stomach is turning right at the moment at the thought of eating. I have been drinking loads but. Of the good stuff too (not alcohol!). I even fell asleep last night while watching tv, which rarely ever happens, and it was early too. I watched the Glass-House and then fell asleep not long after. Normally I’m up for at least another 2 hours.

Oh and Kelsey rang me last night too. She wanted to speak about our day out on Saturday. It was supposed to be me, Kelsey, and Kelly, going out to to celebrate my birthday. We had already done it for Kelly, and Kelsey’s is coming up later. Anyway, we were talking about that, and because Kelly ran out of the home, we figured that she’d be coming too, so we organised all the things we’d be doing. Zoo, movies, play pool. And then Kelsey said she’d ring Kelly and let her know all the details. So she hangs up. I go back into my room, pick up my pencil to start my drawing again, and then she rings back. It would have been all of 2 minutes. So that was really weird, and I figured that she just couldn’t get in touch with her. But oh no. She had talked to her. Kelly had told her that she wasn’t going to be coming up for the day out, and that she probably wouldn’t come up very often, because she was moving down there. Wow. Thanks Kelly. It would have been nice if she could have rung up and actually TOLD us! Instead it’s left up to us to ring her as usual. The only time she rings us I think is when she wants something. Don’t get me wrong, I love Kel, but I just get sick of her playing games. She’s always done it. I know that. And also know that I’ll just put this one behind me as per normal, but it would just be nice to get an honest and truthful answer from her without us having to go and dig for it. Which I think is the most frustrating part of it all.

And now there is today, Thursday. I missing my first class again. I haven’t been in like five weeks straight. I hate Linux, and I don’t care what anyone will tell me, I refuse to convert to it. I’m quite happy with my unstable Explorer and Microsoft XP. They work and that’s enough for me at the moment. The only funny thing about the class was the lecturer practically got a hard on whenever he spoke about the program thing. It was funny. Once he got started he would shut up, and he sort of got this far-away look in his eyes. And other people who have had him as a lecturer have said exactly the same thing. So I’m not the only one who’s noticed it thankfully. That would be just freaky if it had. But hey, what can you do other than not show up to that class. *shrugs*

I have also got this huge obsession with the show The O.C. at the moment. I have no idea where it came from. We don’t even have the show on at the moment. I just want to watch it and watch it and I can’t. It really sucks, especially because we won’t be getting season 3 till next year sometime. And that really sucks arse! I hate it. I feel like brooding now. *sighs* I’ll just have to wait . Goddamn not having the net at home…

Hell. It’s been a week since I’ve posted. I suppose since I haven't had access to the net, that'll explain it.

Anyway, my birthday was both fun and sucked at the same time! I went and picked up Leanne, who gave me the best birthday present ever! She gave me, and it will make no sense till I explain a bit, a cute dog teddy, 5 tea-light candles, a lighter, and a spoon. See no sense. But when I stayed at her place a while back, I was sitting there melting wax on a spoon to amuse myself. Kinda like you would with H on a spoon. And I said that she should just get me candles and a lighter for my birthday and I’d be happy! And I am! I love it! Lol!

Anyway, we then slowly headed back to my place and did nothing. Then we got ready for my dinner thing, and headed over to pick up the only other person going, Kelsey. She gave me some earrings and an earring rack thing. It’s really pretty.

We went out to tea at a restaurant and I made a "beautiful" centre piece using things from everyone’s meals. I should have taken a photo. Darn it, I wish I’d thought of that then. Then we were going to play pool, but the place was packed, so we went down to see if anything was on at the movies, there wasn't. So we ended up playing Tenpin Bowling. That was fun so it’s all good. I ended up with the only strike of the night! Hoo Raa! And I managed to get that by throwing the ball with both hands from between my knees. Not the proper way, but it worked, so I’m not complaining!
The next day, we took Leanne back to Rockingham. I hate saying good-bye to her, coz I never know when I’ll see her next.

I then went home and started to get ready for work. Thank goodness it was only a four hour shift (4pm-8pm). I don't think I could have handled a longer one. I was stuffed and all I wanted to do was sleep. But about half-way through my shift, I got a message from the one and only Kelly (who was meant to be in rehab) telling me that she had left and that she really needed somewhere to stay for the night. So me being who I am said she could, no questions asked. So when all I wanted to do was sleep after work I had to call Kelsey and tell her that Kelly had left the place, and then wait for her to show up. So I think it was 9:30, 10 o'clock before she turned up. And then all she wanted to do was talk about her time there. It was soo fun, blah blah blah, saw many miracles. IT was a Christian place she went to, and I think they saved and converted her. I don't believe in any of that, so it was really starting to get on my nerves. All I wanted was sleep!
Next day, she messaged my mobile, from my room, to tell me she was going to go and buy me and Kelsey breakfast, as we were going to go and see her baby rabbit.
So I got up and ready in a record 15 minutes, and left with her, went and bought breakfast, and was racking my mind as to how to ask her if the place she was in was actually rehab. Eventually I just asked her, apologising before, during, and after asking her, because I didn't want to offend her. And she just laughed at me and was like, "Well Duh!" Way to make me feel rotten.
So we went and saw Kelsey and her rabbit. Then Kelly went to the shops, bought a few things and took me home. I went a laid down on my bed and listened to the radio and stared off into space.
Eventually I got ready and then went to work. *Yawns to that* And I got a message from Kelsey telling me that she was having work problems, and would I like to go out with her and play a game of pool so she could talk about it.

I have come to the conclusion that all I am to most people is someone who will listen to their problems. That doesn't worry me. It’s the fact that nearly everyone is using me and don't want to listen when I have my own problems. I hate that. I don't think that anyone really bothers to listen to what I say coz they all turn it back to them as soon as I do start to open up. *shrugs* Hence my stupid addiction. whatever...

When I finished mum picked me up, and dropped me off home. She was going out for a girl’s night out with my aunty (her sister) and a few of her friends. I had to baby-sit my little sisters. So that sucked. So I didn't go and play pool. And as much as I wanted to sleep, I couldn't. In the end I was awake listening to music till like 4 in the morning.
I had work from 10am till 7am after my whole 3 hours sleep, and it was stock take, so it was an even more strenuous day than normal. And I couldn’t go home to sleep like I had wanted to do since Thursday, Oh No. I had told Kelsey that because I couldn’t go out the night before, that I would go out with her on Saturday night and play pool. Admittedly I had a great time, and it was rather relaxing and didn’t waste too much energy. And although we didn’t talk too much, it was fun. I love pool. I’m not too bad at it either, which makes it more fun. A couple of times I had sunk all of my balls and only had the black ball to sink, and Kelsey still had most of hers left. Sod off. I’m allowed to brag, it makes me feel better. So there *blows raspberries*

Sunday, yesterday, I had a family lunch to go to for my birthday. Ick! I hate them so much. So I went. I sat at the computer most of the time playing games, ate my lunch, sat some more by myself, feed my horse, and then went and played my cousin’s PS2 for a while. I tried to drag everything out as long as I could so I wouldn’t have to speak to anyone.

Everyone had this thing that I’m not myself at the moment. Well Duh! I’m tired and just want to sleep the days away at the moment. And then they tell me that’s not it. How the hell would they know? They aren’t me! And that’s all that’s wrong with me at the moment. I need sleep. But usually it doesn’t wear me out as much as it has been lately. I know I’m a bit depressed at the moment as well, but they don’t need to know that. I’ve been through worse.

Last night I watched Mary Bryant on tv. Its about this female convict and what she went through when she first came to Australia. I know more of the story, I’m just too slack to be bothered writing it all down. I want to watch the rest of the show tonight (it’s shown over two nights), but I know that I won’t because Queer as Folk is on, and I love that show far too much to be normal. I actually want to buy the box set of the series, I just have to find someone who’ll sell it/ order it in.

And this is starting to get long, and I’m getting sick of writing it, so I’ll leave it here, and either post more in my next class, or the next time I come in…



oh and HAPPY ALL HALLOW'S EVE and SAMHAIN all!

Lol! I just stole this from artistickitten, who stole it from some-one else. It must be the IT thing to steal at the moment. (and Sod off. I suck at code thingys to make it all work and show LJ users.)


1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
I think that Chris Rock has the same b'day as me. (YAY! Two days to go!)

2. Where was your first kiss?
At night on the school football oval

3. Have you ever seriously vandalised someone else's property?
Does school property count?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Yes, but only in fun.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
I was in the school choir in Primary School, and i did a couple of variety acts singing with my friends in Primary School as well.

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
I have this weird thing for accents, and i love their eyes.

7. What really turns you on?
Depends on the person. It changes so often.

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
Australia doesn't have Starbucks. And I HATE coffee anyway

9. What is your biggest mistake?
Not speaking my mind and acting out how i think that i should. I tend to hold a LOT of the true me back.

10. Ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Yes.

11. Say something totally random about you.
I think that skinny leg pants are DISGUISTING! ICK!

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Hell NO!

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
I love kiddie movies and shows. I like cartoons the best.

14. Did you have braces?
Yes for nearly three and a half years! And my teeth are still crooked and everywhere. Fat lot of good they did for me. And a complete waste of money.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
Yep. Sometimes I wish i was taller but. I honestly don't know why but.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you?
????????? Nothing

17. When do you know it's love?
... You just do, I suppose

18. Do you speak any other languages?
I can hold a very basic conversation in Japanese. And once upon a time i could speak in Indonesian, but I can only remember random words of that now.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
No, and although I'm extremely white, I don't think I ever will

20. What magazines do you read?
Whatever my sisters buy, or my friends leave lying about. No wait, i read the TV mag to see if there is anything worth watching on.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
No, but i would like to one day.

22. Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
My animals. :'(

23. Do you watch MTV
No, but i watch a show called Rage sometimes. (An Aussie show)

24. What's something that really annoys you?
People who are sheep. And People who think they are better that you.

25. What's something you really like?
My bedroom. I'd probably live in their if i could

26. Do you like Michael Jackson?
Only some of his music, but i can't stand him

27. Can you dance?
Yeah Baby! I'm the bomb! But if you asked anyone else, they'd probably laugh at the thought, and say NO!

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
Two days (nearly three) for a competition at a school camp to see who could last the longest. I won... just.

29. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
yes.

30. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
yes.

31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Only sometimes. Usually only for people i know but.



------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here's another for good measure.




Three Names You Go By:
- Keira
- Doofus/Dork
- Jarieka (Dan calls me that)

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
- English
- Irish
- German

Three Things That Scare You:
- Being alone
- Clowns
- Unexplained noises in the middle of the night.

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
- Chocolate Tiny Teddies
- Coke
- Something to read

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
- Pants
- Polo Shirt
- Way too many bracelets (they reach halfway up my arms)

Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists:
- Good Charlotte
- HIM
- The Killers

Three of Your Favorite Songs: ~ at the moment.
- Outside - Staind
- Have a Nice Day - Bon Jovi
- Smile Like You Mean It- The killers

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love):
- Trust
- Honesty
- Respect

Three Things about the Opposite/Same Sex that Appeal to You:
- Accents!
- Eyes
- Personality

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies:
- Writing to my Penpals.
- Reading
- Surfing the internet

Three Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now:
- Go home! I hate TAFE
- Go to the loo
- Eat the chocolate Tinny Teddies in my bag

Three Places You Want to go on Vacation:
- Ireland
- Canada
- Finland

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
- Travel the World
- Write a book
- Meet my soul mate (shut up!)

Three people I want to see take this quiz:
- Tom
- Dick
- Harry
(I dunno. I just wanted to fill it out!)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This one I Stole off of kerryblaze


a) If you found a genie in a bottle that will grant you one wish, but it can't be anything like world peace or the end to disease or ending prejudice or hitting the lottery, (think of it has a guilty pleasure wish), what would it be?
It would involve a weekend, a hot bod and lots and lots and lots of..... well i'm usre you can use your imagination.


b) If you were a Tri-Wizard champion, what would they take for you to recover during the 2nd task?
A bag of chocolate Tiny Teddies

c) Cats or Dogs? Or both?
Both! I love all animals

d) If you could be someone else for a week, who would it be and why? 
Someone who has everything... just so i could know what it feels like.

e) How did you meet your Best Friend?
Through school. Boring I know.

f) How old were you when you realized what sex was?
About 7. I was just a wee lil lassy.

g) When you were a kid, did you ever catch adults doing it?
I didn't see it (Thank-God! But i could here it through the wall. Ick!)

h) What song is your Theme Song for your life?
Uummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..... I dunno.

Okay, one of my friends just told me to try this. Type "failure" into the google search engine, and then click on the I'm feeling lucky box. I love what it comes up with. I could tell you, but that would be no fun for when you do it. I know it made me laugh but. LOL! But that could also be because I'm one of those "Damn Aussies!"

Okay so yesterday at work I was serving the strangest customer. He was an elderly man who just didn’t seem to want to shut-up. But that’s not uncommon. It was the fact that he wanted to shake my hand after I had served him, and then he didn’t seem to want to let go. Ick! It really freaked me out. And he kept calling me by my name (which was on my badge), and that really gives me the willies as it is if I don’t know the person. *shudders* But he kept telling me to go out and live my life, and to visit all these countries. And then at the end of it all, he tells me that I’m great to talk to. So as soon as he let go of my hand, I practically ran to the opposite end of the deli, where I burst out laughing. Suli, one of the guys I worked with saw it as well, and he couldn’t stop laughing either. It was hilarious! The dude still gave me the he-bee jeebies, but it was still great! I think we scared off a few of the customers too, which was a good thing.

And now I’m at TAFE, sitting in the library just so that I don’t have to go to class. I will go to the one this afternoon, but I hate the first class more than I’ve hated any other class in my life. I’m going to fail Cert IV, so I don’t know why I keep going back. No, wait, that’s not totally true. I do know. Free net at the moment. Plus I have mum breathing down my neck about going. I tell her I’m going to fail. I tell her I hate it. She just can’t seem to take a hint. “Just finish the course off, Keira. Get the certificate and then its over with, and then go do Cert III” she says. That’s just great. Shouldn’t I have done Cert III first? I think so, but no, do Cert IV where I have no idea what I’m doing, and then go back to cert III where I should have been to start with! GRRRRRRRRR! It just gets me so angry! I hate it!

But out of all of this, I have worked out that I don’t want to have a profession in computers. I love computers, don’t get me wrong, I just hate being told what to do on them, and when to do it. *sighs* So now I’m back at square one with finding something for a career. I don’t want to work at Coles my whole life. Now that would really suck! I mean the pay is great, but it’s just not something I want to be stuck in my whole life. I could probably live off the Dole if I really wanted, but I think that I’d get bored being at home all day. I like going out. Weirdly enough, I even like to have to think a bit. Not much, but just a bit. LOL. I make no sense. I’d swear on it some days.

But thing I love the most at the moment is that except for TAFE, I’m actually happy with myself. Truly happy. Okay, well it could all be a façade, but it feels real to me. And that’s enough. *dances* I think it’s the fact that my birthday is next week (subtle aren’t I), and I’m really looking forward to it. I only have like three people coming to my “Dinner Thing” but that doesn’t bother me in the slightest, well it does a bit I suppose coz not everyone I wanted to make it. And out of those people, I can only say that 3 have legit answers. Josie (my pen pal) isn’t rich enough to get a plane ticket over for one night, and I only gave her an invotation as a joke, I didn’t really expect her to come. Yani, my oldest and longest friend (I’ve known her since I was like 2, or maybe a bit older) lives in Brisbane now, and is already coming over for Christmas, so that’s good enough for me. And last is Kelly, who is in the “home” with no contact out for another 26 days. The rest that aren’t coming just said stuff like, “I can’t make it coz I have other things to do.” OR “I already had plans.” Okay, yes, so they might, but when I get that from nearly all of them, it sort of gets old and annoying. But there is nothing that I can do about it… and I think that it’ll be their loss. Not mine.

I have also come to the decision that I need to go to the Leady on a Wednesday night. Maybe not the one for my birthday (although that would be Great), but probably the week after. Suli (hey, we were the only two doing any work yesterday, so I think we are entitled to be allowed to talk) was telling me that it’s the best place to be on a Wednesday night. He’s been telling me what I should do for my birthday to make it more interesting. The majority of it I need a car for but so I can get there. Darn it!

Okay so this is going to be longer post, and I have to have a huge bitch about one of the girls I work with. Stacey. She just doesn’t do any work! So we are understaffed, then we get her on and it’s like she may as well not even be there. Seriously, it’s so damn frustrating. We have to fill the cabinets of an afternoon, and she has been doing the olives and salads section, and she takes forever to do it! Admittedly, I’m not altogether that fast at it, but I definitely ain’t that slow! I’ve done it faster when I was limping around with my dodgy knee even. And I try to help serve if it gets too busy. But she dawdles around taking like 3-4 hours to do the section. For the majority of us, it takes up like 2-3 hours, including the time we help to serve! And if she’s not filling that section, then she’s out the back room laughing. She never stops laughing! And she thinks its all a big joke! I just wish she’d go back to the front-end and stay t the check-outs where I’ll never have to hear that laugh again. I know that Ray (the 2IC) loves her working in there (he got her the job), but I can’t stand her! There is defiantly tow of us who can’t stand her, and I like nearly everyone. So it’s a pretty big thing for me not to like some one!

Anyway, I think that this is starting to get slightly long, and know that I’ll more than likely post again today, I’ll just leave it here for now.

*huggles to all that read this*

Love ya babes,
j

(I just love signing off for some unbeknown reason :P )

Damn I'm tired. Last night at like 12:30am I had this sudden inspiration to start cleaning my room. I have no idea where it came from, or why it happened. So I spent half the night cleaning my room. Then out of nowhere, I have another urge. I simply just had to re-arrange my room. So I did that as well. And I managed to do it all by the light of my TV (which was on mute), while I listened to the radio. That doesn't make much sense, but hey... that's my life for you.

I have TAFE to day, which I really just don't care about anymore. I don't mind today’s class but, it’s mainly animation and image editing which is pretty cool. I still hate it but.

The only plus is that I get to leave an hour early today! Score. Tara, our fill-in boss at work this week, rang me this morning and asked if I could come into work earlier today. I was only working 2-6, coz my TAFE class finishes at 12:30, but I now I get to leave TAFE at 11:30, so I can be at work at 12. SO that’s alright, plus I can pick up my pay! Woo-Hoo! I love payday. Only bad bit is that I only keep out $30 for myself, and then my board money, and the rest goes away for my car.

That reminds me, my mother dearest has started to let me lie about how many hours I’ve been driving for. Not that I didn't slip in the occasional 2hours drive as it was, but now she knows, I can do it more often. So I’ll hopefully have my P plates before the end of November. So look out Australia! I'll be loose on the roads soon!!!

I really really really hate tafe and am doing anything possible not to work at the moment. I just want to go home, but i don't have the net there. Blurgh! I hate that! I really need to get it.

Anyway, here are some pics of me and some of my friends that i found. lol!



This is, in order from left to right, me(Keira), Kelly and Kelsey, avidley nick-named the K-trio.




And this is a pic of Dan, before the shaved hair, that i had to take one tafe class.

I have finally taken control of my birthday at last! Yay! Anyway, here is what i have planned. I'm not going to go to stupid and pathetic tafe. I will instead sleep in. Then i will go and pamper myself anyway i see fit to do so. I'll even see if i can drag Leanne down earlier in the day. I might go play some pool and have a great time. That night I will be going out to tea with my two definately going friends, Leanne and Kelsey, My probably be there friend, Dan, and Ginny if i can get in touch with her soon, and maybe a few others. I haven't decided where we will be going yet. Somewhere nice, but not overly expensive. Especially if i will be paying for a select fews meals. There is possibly going to be more than at least one of those, not counting myself. I'm not too phased, just as long as they're there. So we'll ahve dinner. Hopefully then walk around for a bit or if I'm lucky go out and do something. Dont really care what, as long as its fun :P
The next day i won't go to tafe again. Hell no. I hate the place. Instead, i'll sleep in again. Take Leanne home, and then probably get ready for work that night.
Friday I'll have work again, and then I'll have to babysit my little sisters coz my mum is going out on a girls night out at the casino in Perth! I really want her to go too. Then Saturday night i have to have the ritual family dinner. YUUKKKKKKKK! Thats the only part of birthdays i hate! *shudders* Hopefully afterwards, i'll be able to go out. No plans just yet, but still, hopefully something shall arise.
So far thats all i've got planned, but surprises Rule! I just hope i can score a couple.....